ADVENTure

Amuse Tête

Do you remember humble old school advent calendars? They used to be oversized versions of greeting cards with 24 little paper doors numbered with December dates leading up to Christmas. You’d open the little door and behold! An illustrated rocking horse! Or a drawing of a bear dressed as an elf. How lovely! How thrilling!

Thanks to late stage capitalism, the advent calendar had a glow up. No longer do you have to pretend to be delighted by opening up a small paper door to reveal a drawing of an ornament.

The 2024 advent calendar range includes everything from fishing lures to cat toys to high-end beauty products to underpants. Swarovski will sell you a crystal advent calendar for $1200 (or 4 easy payments of $300). Ice cream. Cheese. Paw-nukkah. Incense. DnD dice. Sprinkles. Coffee. Murder. Poison. Sex toys.

Way back in my Caribbean yachting days, my mom sent me an advent calendar, (because her favorite daughter was not going to miss out on that holiday joy, even if she hadn’t celebrated Christmas at home in over half a decade). The captain of the yacht I worked on claims to have never before seen such a creature as an advent calendar. Not wanting to underwhelm him with ho-hum holiday imagery, I customized it to his tastes. I managed to carefully peel the back off, without disturbing the little doors in the front, so that I could paste over the drawings of wise men and sugar plums with cleavage close-ups clipped from Cosmo and other fashion magazines. He could open a little door each day to some surprise, yet tasteful, titties. (There is no HR on the high seas.)

Without further ado, allow me to introduce your very own Microdosing Joy ADVENT(ure) Calendar™. Keep your expectations low, remember we’re microdosing. This is a secular, non-religious, non-boring adventurous exploration of hidden little joys; a quick ponderable, like an amuse bouche, but for your brain, so more like an amuse tête.

See you tomorrow.

Also, if you’d like to nominate a little joy, feel free to reply to this.