Eye Got You
But also, it really wasn't me
You know what’s funny?
Anthropomorphizing quotidian objects with the application of ocular simulations.
AKA: eyebombing. AKA: putting googly eyes on shit.
According to the Googly Eye Foundation, “eyebombing is a form of urban art consisting of placing googly eyes onto an inanimate object in the public sphere, in a way that cleverly lends the object the appearance of a living creature.”
A few years ago, a huge scandal rocked my town: someone installed a pair of googly eyes on the bronze statue of Revolutionary War hero Nathanael Greene. Local law enforcement came just shy of a Fugitive-style manhunt to find the perp, to no avail.
On their official Facebook page, the city had harsh words about the seriousness of the crime and included the local tip line number to turn in the responsible individual(s). The whole scenario went viral. The internet did not disappoint in the comments section. But the Googly Eyed Bandit™ evaded the law and roams free to this day.
One of the highlights of my life was the number of people who thought it was me. (I was out of state at the time).
Have you ever seen a googly eye installation and thought “That’s awesome. I love that people create joy like that,” but didn’t follow it up with “I want to be one of those people”?
I’m here to help.
File under: life is hard and we need simple joys. You don’t realize how many real-life scenarios can be improved upon by the addition of googly eyes until you imbue yourself with the power to be a Googly Eyed Bandit™.
Yes, you can be one of those people.
We are all the Googly Eyed Bandit™, or we can be for the simple reason that googly eyes are funny. Always. A pair of googly eyes transforms a(n) [ordinary object] into a seemingly sentient creature complete with a unique expression. We humans— living in our highly manufactured, often gray or colorless, less-than-organic-world—find objects with a face and presumed personality less-threatening and very funny. It is an easily attainable artistic feat, available to anyone and possibly less than $5.
Follow this easy steps to become a Googly Eyed Bandit™:
Procure googly eyes, specifically the self-adhesive kind. While I like the rugged permanence of hot glue, you want the ease of peel-n-stick. (The dollar store version won’t do here, but is perfect for a situation where you can use glue.)
Find a small sealing bag. I use a fancy salon give-away pouch, but a small zip seal bag works just as well, or an old film canister, mint tin, snuff box, etc. Fill it with a supply of googly eyes, then seal.
Stash it in your bag, backpack, stroller, etc. Make sure it is readily accessible.
You are now an eyebombing ambassador. Keep your actual eyes out for opportunity. With a little practice, you will become adept at spotting scenarios that can be livened up with a little googly eye action. You’ll know it when you see it.
When you find your location, be cool, be casual, peel, then stick.
Stand back to admire your work and the little bit of joy you’ve just sent into the world.
Snap a pic and send it to me. (Optional, but pretty please share.)
Repeat as often as necessary.
Pro-tip: Don’t deface statues and don’t get arrested.
Oh man that eyebombing incident was one of my favorite Sav moments -- I remember that FB post about how it was "no laughing matter," and c'mon it may be inappropriate or a crime but it is ABSOLUTELY a laughing matter. The pictures on the FB post prove it -- STILL impossible not to laugh!
It gives me great joy that you felt you had to list your alibi