You’ve heard of triggers and trigger warnings, but what do you know of glimmers?
Let’s back up and talk triggers for a wee second.
A trigger is a thing that sets a series of events in motion. In a gun, when a trigger is pulled, it releases a spring that in turn releases another mechanism which in turns sends a bullet on its way.
In the human psyche, a trigger operates pretty much the same way, except instead of a bullet, the end result of the action is activating the sympathetic nervous system, aka fight or flight aka prepare to run from lions or battle rival warriors.
Your brain detects a sensory input (sound, smell, sight) matching something similar from a previous negative experience (fear, pain, difficulty, danger, or worse). That clever meaty, goopy, bundle of chemicals and electricity, your brain equates this sensory input with the earlier trauma and sounds an alarm, activating your sympathetic nervous system, preparing for exactly what happened before.
This is a protective measure, but not always practical. The pop of a car backfiring does not mean you’re back in a war zone with active shooters, but your nervous system works so fast, before it has a chance to assess the situation, it’s sent the advance guard of cortisol and adrenaline to prepare to ward off imminent danger. Your body is reacting as if you were back in that war zone.
Actual triggers are neither obvious nor identical. They are as different as our lives and experiences, although some are more universal than others.
After an incident in Amsterdam, I am triggered by bicycles. I live in a city with lots of cyclists. I see scores of them every day, but still, decades on, I am very skittish around bikes whizzing by me, especially if they come up on my deaf side.
This is a very safe example, and not meant to minimize how traumatizing and re-traumatizing triggers can be.
So, onto the joy part of this post…
The opposite of a trigger is a glimmer, that which parts the clouds of crap and allows existential sunshine to sparkle in our souls, even if for a brief moment. Or more technically, that which awakens the parasympathetic nervous system
The parasympathetic nervous system controls the body’s ability to relax and feel safe and grounded. It is the rest and digest to the sympathetic nervous systems’ fight or flight.
Glimmers are the cues that tell your brain and body that safety is at hand, the breathing may return to normal, the shoulders may release themselves from the ears. Like triggers, glimmers are personal, based on life experiences, and rooted in sensory memory.
In the same way that a sound (fireworks/gunshots, shouting, sirens) can trigger your body into fight or flight, a sound can also glimmer you into rest and digest. For example, the opening bars of this song instantly make me feel like all is right in the world; while for my brother-in-law, the rhythmic snarffle of his dog snoring achieves that same feeling. The smell of my husband’s soap or the scent of autumnal New England shipyards are glimmers for me, while my friend feels wee hits of joy when she gets a whiff of wafting grandfather-evoking pipe smoke.
Not all glimmers are attached to memories. Some are based purely on aesthetics. Certain shades of fuschia set my soul on fire with joy, while my 7 year old nephew likes to have lots of pops of blue around him for the same reason.
Here are a few things about glimmers to keep in mind:
Glimmers are tiny moments of awe hidden inside of our days
They spark joy and evoke calm
They can happen anywhere
They send cues of safety and relaxation to our regulatory systems
They’re easy little bursts of positive energy
We get to decide our glimmers
They bring us into the present
Free! Micro-moments of joy!
They can happen in the midst of crappy days and shit storms
The more we look for them, the more we experience them
This is your official invitation to consider and be aware of the glimmers in your life.
I saw a car with Muppet stickers on it yesterday!!
hummingbirds and their little chirrups are my glimmer.