Self-care is more than mani-pedi-massage-margaritas with your squad. It's more than justifying a splurge on expensive face cream, daily Starbucks or new shoes. Self-care is the regular act of investing your energy in you: body, mind, and spirit.
It shouldn’t be something you do once a month, but a natural part of your day, every day.
Every. Single. Fucking. Day: Find, steal, make, take, create a few minutes (even just five) to go to yourself, in your body, your mind and your spirit and give yourself some love.
A repetitive investment in the self pays huge dividends. The interest rate is somewhere around 100% and it compounds daily. If you can spare two minutes per day to meditate, over the course of one month, you’ll have meditated for one hour; over a year: 12 whole hours. What about stomach crunches? 30 crunches per day is 900 in a month, or almost 11,000 per year. A tiny investment for some pretty sweet abs.
Now let’s catapult that math into reading or writing or any creative endeavor—all of the things that you don’t think you have time for in your day. Five minutes of quality reading (not a listicle featuring the ten craziest brunch bloody mary garnishes) per day over the course of a year is like sitting down and reading for more than 24 hours straight. Think of the knowledge and inspiration you’ll be feeding your brain.
Why should you have a daily practice?
You already have one. You wake up every morning and start your day. You drink your coffee, you turn on the TV or listen to the radio, you eat breakfast (or you don’t), you do the things: brush teeth, wash face, comb hair (or you don’t), get dressed. You finish work and do more things: open the fridge, check the mail, open the fridge again, turn on the TV, check the fridge.
But what about switching it up only by the teeniest tiniest little bit, just to start with, so you’re creating spaces of mindfulness for yourself. So all of these things you do every day are infused with a little more meaning for your body, your mind and your soul.
Take a minute to look at your day, all of the things you do, regularly, every single day. Is there a place to switch things around a wee bit to create space for that daily self-care? Yes. Unequivocally yes. Most assuredly yes.
Yes. YES! Yes, there is plenty of room to add little pockets of self-care.
Here’s what is (probably) going to happen. You’re going to look at your schedule and say, OMG! Of course, I can squeeze a little bit in. In fact, I can squeeze a lot, so starting tomorrow I’m going to do all of these things, then I’ll do it the next day, and the next. My life is going to be perfect!
Except that tomorrow you may forget. When you remember your slip-up, you’ll immediately go straight to pronouncing yourself a wretched failure and never try again. Or say you do start tomorrow, and it goes pretty well. You’re pleased with yourself and your newfound inner sanctum. But then the day after tomorrow, you forget and declare yourself a failure and never try again. Or, you get through tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day after that, but then the following day you realize, this is HARD. You say It’s hard being good. I can’t do this. Fuck this whole self-care thing, unless it’s mani-pedi and margaritas.
Yes, some people can decide to wake up an extra hour earlier tomorrow and start a draconian morning regime and stick with it for the rest of their lives. Yay them. Fuck them. We’re not them. (Or maybe we are, in which case, yay us.)
There is an in between.
It starts with baby steps. A minute here, ten minutes there. We do a little switching and changing, some tweaking and revising, and the next thing you know, boom: we’re people with a thriving daily practice, we’re reading tons, we’re actually journaling, we meditate, we may or may not do crunches. We can say things like “my gratitude practice,” without screwing up our faces. Because we realize now that just a few minutes a day makes a huge difference.
For example, let’s say, we switch out the snooze button for reading in bed. You’re still in bed, so you get to chill in that sweet snoozy space before jumping up to greet the day. But really, you’re doing something great for you because you’re reading about how to be a better version of you. It could be a parenting book, the bible, Jungian theory, or catching up on the latest issue of your favorite daily practice newsletter (ahem). But, in that nine minutes that you would’ve been thinking about the alarm going off again, you’re waking up your brain and your spirit.
Maybe that’s too much for right now.
Let’s start out simple, with an intention. You don’t have to set your alarm any earlier, you don’t need to invest in any fancy equipment. All you need is to take a minute, today, right now, and set that intention— go ahead, I’ll wait.
Now, do something to set in motion your newly committed morning ritual person status. Maybe you’re the kind of person who just remembers things, congratulations. The rest of us might need a message written on a sticky note, a ripped off piece of paper from a McDonald’s bag (no judgement), or a pop-up on the phone. However you do it, make sure that when you wake up tomorrow morning, your first thought is that intention: “I’m going to make the best out of today.” Or “I will drink plenty of water today.” Or “I am going to shower today.”
Boom.
That’s it.
While you’re still a bit sleepy, but before you start stressing about all the shit that needs doing and the challenges ahead, ground yourself in that intention for the day. Allow yourself to believe it. Hold on to that thought, keep repeating it to yourself. Wrap your brain fingers around it and reel it in like a prize catch, keep it close all day, even though it’ll flop and flip around and slip away like a fish. Maybe you write it on your bathroom mirror. Maybe it’s scribbled on a napkin by your coffee pot. Maybe you grab a Sharpie and tattoo it on your hand. Or maybe, the phrase is on a chyron running through your brain. Just hang on to it.
It’s all about the intention.
Can you do that?
Congratulations, you’re now a person with a morning routine.
Do you think you can crush this part?
Here’s some extra credit for the nerdy kids.
1: Drink a glass of lemon water as soon as you wake up. Yup, just that. Squeeze a wedge of lemon into a glass of water. Boom, easiest health food recipe ever. It’s super hydrating, helps balance your Ph, good for your skin, your heart, your stomach, your guts and all your bits.
2: Stay off of your phone (social media/text/e-mail) for one hour. This sounds easy, but is soooo very, very, very difficult. For me. It might be easy for you. If so, congratulations. I have to work very hard to not check comments, texts or emails. Some days I’m better at it than others. But, since we’re operating in a judgement-free zone, it’s all good. I have another chance to try again tomorrow. If I stumble, I just begin again.
So, quick recap:
How to Have A Morning Routine
Wake up.
Create an intention for the day.
Say it out loud.
Stay off of your phone.
Drink a glass of water.
Go forth and be awesome.
Congratulations, you’re now a person with a morning ritual.
See you back here in a few days for some midweek inspiration.