The Perfect Occasion™ ?
the annual reminder to use your good shit
Remember way back when, about 3 months ago? Holidays bustled all around us, the world was aglitter. You maybe went to parties and ate lots of cookies. And you most likely received some special little gifties, little surprises you wouldn’t treat yourself to.
Perhaps a tiny jam advent calendar or some fancy olive oil. Maybe a cashmere sweater that feels too fancy for everyday use. Perfume or champagne you’re saving for a Special Occasion™.
What have you done with those precious goodies? Are you using them or are they sad and lonely, gathering dust and taking up shelf space? Why?
That fancy olive oil will go rancid. That soap won’t be so pretty coated in a fine crust of dust mites, dead skin cells, and space particles.
What is stopping you from getting full enjoyment from your special stuff?
This doesn’t apply to just gifts, but all of your good shit.
I know you own Special Occasion™ hair product and a pair of leggings you feel are finer than the others. You have a sneaker hierarchy and a “good” bra.
Why are you saving these things?!?!
A fancy pen will dry up over time, whether you use it or not.
Why use heirloom China when I can just eat my dinner on a paper towel? Good question, but ferfuxsake, indulge yourself a little. You already own these gorgeous plates: Bust. Them. Out.
How many beautiful journals do you have that you one day plan on filling with deeply worthy thoughts and ideas? If only you had a Really Nice™ pen for writing in it with. Oh, you do? You’re just waiting for the Deep Thoughts™?
Sequins and superhero underpants are everyday wear.
Have you ever been to an estate sale? You walk through someone's house, all their life on display to be fingerfucked by strangers. Rooms full of their precious belongings that won’t fit in a coffin, open to judging and scavenging. You’ll see their exquisitely beautiful “good china” stacked up, hardly used; while the everyday plates and bowls sit chipped and battered with constant use. “We were saving it for a Special Occasion™,” they’d say. Same for the good jewelry, the fancy towels: only for Special Occasions™.
Think of life like an Uno game. The greatest Uno mistake is to go down with a stash of wild cards. At any point you could’ve benefitted from those magic cards to get you out of a jam or to give you a boost. But you didn’t, instead you hoarded them, waiting for the Perfect Occasion™, then lost the game while holding your now-useless stash, devoid of value.
That’s kinda silly, right?
You know what’s a Special Occasion™?
Just to be alive, on this fresh morning, in this broken world.
Go forth and use your good shit.
Do I need to spell this out for you?
Lush bath bombs
Your lovely lavender hand lotion
Chateauneuf de Pape
Surround yourself in a cloud of your lovely perfume
Wear the good hoops.
That fine wine/tea/coffee.
Burn the sumptuous scented candle.
Munch the Girl Scout cookies before they go stale.
Stop hoarding those stickers for the perfect place. Stick ‘em down already.
Eat the “good” chocolate.
Bust out the silverware.
Sleep on the fancy sheets.
Eat your rich-people™ cheese before it gets too funky
There is no such thing as special occasion sneakers. Wear them.
Apply the designer lipstick and the rich lady mascara
That nice watch can’t appreciate itself.
You get the idea?
I’m always open to ideas, suggestions, shenanigans, tomfoolery, collaborations, cheese, snacks, and field trips.
You can find my art here and here. I offer custom workshops and design. I am the proud guardian/custodian of a 16 year old cheeseburger named Patty.
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All photographs and art are by me, Rubi McGrory, unless otherwise noted.
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words and images © Rubi McGrory 2021-2025
“Fingerfucked by strangers” 😂
Yes use your stickers!!!