We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.
You see, every month, I choose a theme to guide what we explore, discuss, journal about and meditate on. I totally nerd out and tailor my morning reading to the subject at hand. I was all set to go last Sunday with a whole essay on this month’s theme and how excited I am about it, when a strange thing happened.
I had multiple conversations with different people, people whom I count among the strongest and most amazing humans I know, about our uncanny ability, well-honed skill, and artful expertise in our capacity to second guess the hell out of ourselves.
And each time, I thought Wow, I guess I’m not the only one who finds myself staring at the ceiling at 3am replaying what I perceive to be awkward conversations from hours (or years) earlier.
And also, I thought What the hell is wrong with us? We are smart, intelligent, funny, hardworking people? Where is this self-doubt coming from? And if it’s this many people from a small population sample, what do the bigger numbers look like?
At the eleventh hour (literally at 11pm on Saturday night, I pulled what I wrote) to send a self-love treatise your way. [This is the beauty of designing your own program, you can send in last minute subs.]
I toyed with changing the whole theme of the month to a self-love bootcamp. But, for reals, that could be annoying af (and bordering on toxic positivity). I can’t just be coming at you telling you how great you are. If you won’t take your own word for it, why should you take mine?
What is it going to take for you to see how freaking awesome you are?
I suggest dedicating some time to yourself every morning (or anytime during the day) with a daily practice.
So, I’m just going to pop into your inbox on occasion and remind you that you are a fucking Queen (or King).
And in the meantime, twice every week, like I’ve been doing, I’m going to remind/coach/cheer you on to keep investing in yourself every. fucking. day with this here daily practice that we’re exploring and cultivating.
So, onwards.
Are you curious about this month’s theme?
I hope so.
Because we’re going to explore curiosity.
Not the curiosity that makes you pick up your phone to look up what other movies that actress from White Orchid was in, or to see what your favorite influencers are up to.
We’re going flex our muscles of inquisition.
Curiosity about the world, what’s going on around us. Curiosity as a means to engage with our universe. Curiosity to interact with everything in our sphere. Instead of taking our surroundings for granted, inquire about them, get to know them.
We’re going to start with a few simple acts of awareness.
Step one: Ask yourself the following questions, answer as honestly as possible, and refrain from judging yourself.
How often do you pick up and engage with your phone?
Why?
What are you looking for? (see, we’re warming up our curiosity muscles already.)
What are you hoping to find?
How frequently do you not find anything that you need?
Fun fact:
Your IOS device actually keeps count of how many times you pick up your phone. Go to settings>screen time> see all activity >then scroll down past screen time, limits, and most used to pick-ups.
Brace yourself. There will be a number that indicates how many times per day you pick up your phone and the screen activates. It may be large. It may shock and terrify you. Let it. Let it sink in. Absorb the horrifying reality of the connection between your brain, your thoughts, and this portal. 1
This could be a good time to decide to alter this relationship.
Step two: Look around. Preferably out a window.
Switch out some of that looking-at-the-phone action to looking out the window. Really look, for cracks in the sidewalk that resemble roadmaps, for constellations of objects that look like faces, for hearts.
When you find yourself waiting in line, don’t look down into your screen, look around. Look for repeating colors.
Look at your world.
Step three: Go purposefully curiosing.
Take a curiosing walk, or incorporate curiosing into your regular walk.
There is so much for you to explore.
Last February, I noticed two Frozen™ Bandaids™ stuck to the sidewalk in a heavily foot-trafficked park near my house. They stayed in that spot until September. I shouted “Bandaids™!” every time I passed. In a different part of that same park there are more colorful Bandaids™. I notice them now.
If your curiosity uncovers a significant amount of litter, why not take a stick and a bag on your next walk. Look for a pattern in the litter.
Walk to see what you can see.
A very handsome man I know likes to walk the same route every day. He claims the familiarity forces him to look for things he has never noticed before. His equally fine wife disagrees, and she prefers her walking route to take her on different streets so she may uncover new delights. We are both right.
The best way to go curiosing is to be outside. You don’t necessarily have to walk, you can sit on a bench in a park, a picnic blanket, perched on a rock, or at a bus stop, but you can also be in line at the grocery store, waiting at your gate at the airport, or even ducking out of the rain in the mall. The most important thing is to engage your senses.
We’re going to do more deep dives into what it means to fire up all of your curiosity cylinders over the course of the month.
For now, our important first steps ask us to slightly alter our mindset away from the perceived boredom that prompts us to look at our screens for little hits of dopamine and towards exploring the world around us for all of the joys it holds.
Happy hunting.
Unless, you’re not like me, and your monkey mind doesn’t send you grasping your little black mirror of infinite funhouse to look up a word but get sidetracked texting your sister, and then end up reading a twitter thread about people you don’t even know. You shake yourself out of it, then get back to work and realize that you still haven’t looked the word up.
If this doesn’t sound familiar to you, yay you.
Some of us struggle with this, but we promise to be more aware.